Luka masa kecil memanglah sangatlah menyakitkan. Sebab luka itu selalu muncul mengiringi pertumbuhannya. Tak jarang pengalaman buruk atau moment menyakitkan sering menorehkan trauma dalam mengambil keputusan untuk melangkah ke masa depan. Bayangan hitam selalu membuntuti. Energi jahat terlalu besar untuk diperangi akhirnya air mata, emosi yang meledak-ledak bahkan menyalahkan orang lain terhadap peristiwa yang menimpa selalu meletup-letup. Hal ini mengindikasikan bahwa perlu adanya art therapy agar kesehatan jiwa tetap terjaga.
Mengenali luka masa kecil
Tak ada luka yang paling dalam dan menyakitkan kecuali goresan hati yang diberikan oleh orang terdekat saat masih anak-anak. Beberapa faktor penyebabnya menurut Prasetya M Brata seorang Neuro-semantics trainer & Meta-Coach, bisa dilihat dari beberapa kemungkinan. Yaitu pernikahan yang kurang bahagia antara kedua belah pihak, sering menyaringkan pendapat hingga berapa oktaf, saling menuntut untuk sempurna, bahkan pasangannya ternyata di luar ekspektasi bayangannya. Sehingga seorang anak yang lahir kurang di urus bahkan ditelantarkan dan kurang mendapatkan perhatian.
Pertengkaran yang terus berapi-api tanpa disadari telah membakar jiwa sang anak. Akhirnya rasa takut selalu menyelimutinya dan jiwanya terkungkung dalam kebingungan dan kegelapan. Hingga ia tumbuh dewasa, luka itu tidak akan pernah mengering. Akan terus dialiri oleh memori-memori kelam yang enggan musnah.
Kemungkinan lainnya ada
di faktor pola pengasuhan orangtua yang kurang tepat untuk si anak. Biasanya
sih perihal yang terjadi ini menimpa kalangan status sosial rendah, terlalu
sibuk berkarir, atau karena tidak diharapkan kehadirannya seorang anak dalam
rumah tangga tersebut.
Luka performa bahagia
Saat manusia telah berada di sisi tergelap dalam hidupnya,apalagi hal itu merupakan penderitaan yang dibawa sejak ia kecil maka cara terbaik untuk menyembuhkannya adalah dengan inner child therapy yaitu berusaha untuk keluar dengan cara berforma menjadi yang benar-benar manusia.
Lalu mengubah pikiran untuk selalu positive thinking, membuang muka masam, menjernihkan mata, dan melepaskan gesture tubuh untuk lebih lentur dalam mengekspresikan kebaikan agar energi positif lebih besar sehingga bisa melawan energi negatif yang selama ini telah memasung jiwanya, dan berkata yang baik-baik terhadap jiwanya sebagai media ruang pulih untuk dirinya sendiri agar komponen tubuhnya bisa bekerjasama bersatu ikut melawan energi buruk.
Mengingat bahwa Tuhan memberi kepercayaan kepada manusia
Manusia disebut Sebagai leader atau pemimpin untuk dirinya sendiri atau dalam agama islam disebut Khalifah fil ardh. Tidak hanya itu, tuhan telah memberi Instrumen atau perisai hidup yang lengkap berupa fisik, panca Indra akal, perasaan. Cuma, mampukah manusia menggunakan fasilitas itu dengan baik dan benar sesuai dengan tupoksinya masing-masing. Sebagaimana pikiran memiliki tugas untuk refleksi dan instrumen lainnya menjadi referensi memberikan pengetahuan.
Sehingga dari itulah pengetahuan bisa memberi makna pada pengalaman dan kerangka berpikirnya atau dalam bahasa kerennya disebut Frame of experience dan Frame of mind (kerangka berpikir) sehingga berburuk sangka atau sifat menyalahkan orang lain atau hal lain yang disangka jadi penyebab atas sebuah peristiwa yang menimpa jadi menjauh karena telah dapat memaknai baik atau buruk kejadian yang datang terhadap dirinya.
Sebuah studi kasus yang
dulu pernah menimpa saya adalah orang tua dan kerabat yang sering
membanding-bandingkan saya dengan anak tetangga yang lebih lucu, putih, dan
energik. Semua orang menyukainya. Perasaanku waktu itu, pertama adalah
menyalahkan tuhan kenapa menciptakan aku sedemikian jeleknya. Waktu itu aku
kurus, kulitku sawo matang, dan tidak ada lucu-lucunya apalagi orang tua kurang
memperhatikan penampilanku. Compang-camping, sudah tentu iya.
Aku sering menangis di
kamar mandi dan di kamar tidur saat di rumahku sendiri, keluargaku lebih
tertarik pada teman tetanggaku itu. Keberadaanku seolah tidak ada bagi mereka
saking asyiknya mencubit pipinya yang tembem, kulitnya yang berisi dan
baju-bajunya yang lucu. Perasaanku seperti diiris-iris bahwa aku sepantasnya
babu hingga aku memiliki niatan untuk kabur atau bunuh diri. Beruntung aku
masih memiliki iman dan percaya bahwa kematian bukanlah jalan yang benar dalam
kisah ini.
Dan saat ini, tentu
kisahnya sudah berbeda frame of experience dan frame of mind telah membuat saya
benar-benar menjadi seorang manusia seutuhnya menjadi manusia yang memegang
teguh nilai-nilai perasaan, agama, dan yang haq.
65 Komentar
aku kalau lihat ke belakang lagi lantas bersyukur sekali, jalan yang dulu begitu berat ternyata bisa dilalui dan sekarang berada di titik ini
BalasHapusDibandingkan itu memang sakit sekali. Apalagi kalau yang membandingkan orangtua sendiri. Meruntuhkan kepercayaan diri anak. Alhamdulillah sudah mampu melewati masa itu ya mbak :)
BalasHapusHmm berdamai dengan kenangan buruk masa lalu memang susah susah gampang kak, saya pun masih teringat2 sampai sekarang.. namun hanya berusaha untuk tidak menjadikam hal tersebut contoh yang baik saat ini
BalasHapusMasyaallah tulisannya mba Ovi keren banget. Jadi inget masa kecil aku juga yang cukup nyelekit sampe sekarang.
BalasHapusBener nih mbak, dan proses untuk menyembuhkan luka pun butuh waktu yang tidak sebentar. Sebagai pelajaran semoga bisa berbenah lagi dalam mengasuh anak-anakku agar mereka tidak harus mengalami luka serupa.
BalasHapusAku relate dengan cerita komparasimu mbak. Nggak mudah keluar dari bayangan masa itu dan berefek pastinya ke kehidupan sosial. Namin mba bisa bertahan sampai skg dan berhasil melakikan framing yg baik. Proud of you mba :)
BalasHapusWah trnyata kita satu kelas nih mba di ruang pulih. Benar banget ya siapa org yg mau dibanding bandingkan.
BalasHapuspelukkkkkkkkk
BalasHapuskuat kuat kuta, entah ini mgkin klise tapi apa yang terjadi di masa lalu dan itu tidak mnyenangkan memang bis amelekat apalgi jika terjadi di masa kecil kita dan berulang.
inilah aku pun. kekeh ke anakku meski saudara kandung aku tak mau membuat perbandingan ke mereka. sebab mereka unik dg cara mereka masing2
Lihat judul tulisannya keknya dalem. Pas baca isinya ternyata beneran dalem. Trims sudah share thought
BalasHapusPeluk virtual mba Ovi dulu :). Sedih bacanya, tapi bener2 ini jadi pembelajaranku juga sebagai ibu. Kalo ga bagus untuk ngebanding2in anak dengan yang lain :(. Jangan sampe dari mulut sendiri terucap kata2 kasar yang menyakiti si anak :(.
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